(Narrator: Mr Qin Zikun)
The Monster Granny
Let me tell all of you a story about a monster grandma. Once there was a family of four: a couple
and their two children, a boy and a girl. The girl was the elder sister and the boy was the younger brother. At that time, there were many devils. Outside there, no matter where you went, there were many bad people. (So) no matter where they went, they made it clear to the children, 'No matter where we grownups go, when you stay at home during the day, you should make sure that the door is closed. No matter who asks you, don't you open the door.'
They also said to them, they said, wait a moment... ... one day, they went out again, both the father and mother went out, bidding the children stay at home.
They told them, 'When we went out, if that person comes, other people come to our house, just don't open the door lightly. Even if someone ask you to open the door, you must ask who he is, which village he is from. Whoever gives the right answer, only when he answers correctly, can you open (the door). If he doesn't give the correct answer, you just don't open (the door) lightly.'
one day, the two adults went out. They stayed at home alone. At dusk, a grandma came to knock at the door, 'rat-tat-tat', saying, 'Hello, kids, come to open the door.'
They were at home. They then asked, 'Who are you?'
'Who am I? I am Grandma, as you know.'
'Grandma? Which village are you from? Which village?'
'Which village?! Every time you came, every time you all came to Grandma's house with your mother, and you don't know which village Grandma's house is in? I am from so-and-so village.'
She answered correctly. The two children, they then came to open the door. The old grandma then entered the house, entered the house. 'Well, children, well, your lamp is too bright, and my eyes are sore. I suffer from sore eyes and the lamp is too bright and I can't open my eyes. You put out the lamp. I then can hear, well…I can't see, until you put out the lamp.'
The children put out the lamp. 'Well, Grandma, all the lamps have been put out. We don't have anything to eat.'
'I have had my meal. Your father and mother are not at home and they told me to come over to take care of the house together with you, to take care of the house. Otherwise, you are too afraid. They bade me to come to accompany you.'
These two children were very happy to stay (they) at home. 'Tonight, we will be at home alone. The grownups are not at home and moreover, Grandma has come to accompany us.'
They never expected that this old grandma was a monster grandma 'Well, this evening we will go to sleep like that!'
The grandma suddenly asked them to get a stool for her to sit on. 'I have an ulcer on my bottom and can't sit.' Hang on… 'so that I can sit.'
They never expected that the monster grandma, she grows a tail. If she has a
tail, it would be difficult for it to be folded up when sitting. Then they carried over a chicken cage, carried over a chicken cage for her to sit on. She sat and put the tail into the cage. There was a hole on top of the cage, and she put the tail in there. She fumbled about with her tail in the cage.
The chickens began to squawk. The chickens began to squawk, just like that. 'Hmm? Why are the chickens squawking like that?'
'Well, perhaps the chickens are hungry. I'll take the chickens outside for a while and it would be good to let them eat some worms.' I think she is going out to eat up all the chickens. After eating all the chickens, she came back and sat down and went on chatting. She said to herself, 'This time, after eating up the chickens, I will eat these two children. These two children are disgusting and are only silly ones.'
Then she said 'Well, kids, it's so late, mind you. Shall we go to bed? Grandma will go to bed with you Otherwise you yourselves alone will be afraid. So let's sleep in the same room.' She asked the younger brother to sleep at one end of the bed with her, the elder sister at the lower end.
In the middle of the night, she ate up the younger brother. After the younger brother had been eaten, the sister sleeping at the lower end kicked with her foot. When she kicked, mind you, she struck something hard and round. She then asked the grandma, 'What is that round thing?'
'Today I forgot it. Today I brought a pomelo and forgot to ask you to eat it. Tomorrow morning,' hang on… 'Tomorrow morning you can eat it. Hmm, go to sleep for a while.'
'But when I am groping down there, I can feel something long and very soft.' She asked the grandma, 'What is it here, Grandma?'
The grandma said 'it is the carrying belt. A carrying belt for you to carry the younger brother with. Only a carrying belt. It is only a carrying belt.'
'Really? You brought a carrying belt and have not opened it. Then why is it so wet?'
'Oh yes, I think it must be the younger brother who peed on the bed. He peed on the bed.'
Because she had drunk the blood and couldn't eat up all his bowels, and it made the bed wet. 'Younger brother peed on the bed and I will take it to dry under the sun.'
The sister thought and thought, 'It just doesn't look like a carrying belt. If it is a carrying belt, then why it feels just like that? Usually a carrying belt is much drier. A belt is not like that. This one is completely rotten and moreover it is smelly and it just doesn't look like that. I did not know that he had gone!'
The little sister said, 'Hey Grandma, I had a stomach-ache. My stomach aches and I fell my belly bloating and want to shit. I want to shit for a while.'
The grandma did not want to let her go out. She did not want to let her. She wanted to eat her. But the grandma thought 'Hmm, it won't do. If she has a diarrhea she will not be tasty. Let her go to clear up all the shit first. I will eat her when she comes back.'
Then she went out. 'Let you, the sister, go to take a shit first. And you will come back.'
The sister went out. She closed the door from outside and blocked it very tight. The grandma could not go out. She waited for a long time. Waited for a long time. The sister wouldn't come back. She then kept calling the sister and feared that the sister might escape. Fearing that the sister might escape, she called, 'Hey, Sister, Sister.'
The sister kept answering 'I am here. You will still have to wait for a while. I can't shit it out.'
'Have you taken a shit?' She kept answering. Her voice became weaker and weaker, farther and farther.
The monster grandma thought, 'I might not be able to eat this one. She fled.'
It was next day. Next day, the second time, she came again. She came, mind you, came into the house. The sister said to the grandma, 'Hey Grandma, you, eh… there are too many lice on your head. Let me help you to pick the lice. Let's look for lice for a while.'
Her head was messy. The monster grandma's head was very smelly and full of lice and it itched. They went under the tree to look for the lice. The sister now said, 'It is too dark in the house I can't see them all. Let's go under, go under the tree. Let's go there to look for them.'
Mind you, when they were looking for(the lice) for a while, she said, 'Eh, it is too hot under the tree. Let's go on top of the tree. It's easier to look for the lice on the tree branches. It is cool and there are breezes there.'
The monster granny then climbed up the tree. Both of them climbed up the tree. She kept searching. She didn't expect that she failed to reach the itching part. When the sister failed to reach the part, the monster grandma became sort of preoccupied. Then she grasped her hair and tied them on the tree branches, tied them together very tight. The sister then jumped down the tree 'Doop!' She then said to the monster grandma, 'You stay on the tree and take you time. I am now leaving.'
The monster grandma became panic, worried that she wouldn't be able to eat her. She hurried to catch her. She jumped down 'Tak Boo!' Only once her fur and scalp were torn out. The scalp was bleeding all over. The head was bleeding all over. There was blood all over the head. She jumped up this time.
There was a pool full of lime. She went there and jumped into it 'Dong!' pushing her into the pool full of lime. The lime quickly spread all over her hair. The lime spread over her head, it went on
bleeding. The head was submerged in the lime and it start to sting. It was submerged in the lime and started to sting and hurt. She kept jumping and rolling in the lime. The more she was stained with lime the louder she yelled.
They say that only lime can poison her to death. Because she died this way, we say, the monster grandma, when we go into the paddy field we often find those leeches. They are transformed from the monster grandma. That is why we often use lime. Now we spread lime into the paddy field. If our paddy field has too many leeches, we then spread some lime. All the leeches would die. Now we call this story: 'The monster grandma turned into leeches'. The story just goes like this and this is the end of the story.
Navigator of Maonan Net
Introduction to Maonan
Rabbits and Lion
I fear meat
Lazy father & son
Hat as betrothal
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